Swooping Hearts
by LizaCameron
Summary: Liz does some soul-searching about her feelings for Max, and Max confronts the truth, each at the prompting of a friend. Canon compliant, takes place in the 6 weeks between Barely Breathing and Songs of Texas and helps explain how the character got where they were at the beginning of that episode. Echo. Max/Liz


Max felt a rush of nervous energy as he wound his way through the hospital on the way to the lab. That feeling was nothing new when he was anticipating seeing Liz, but he was pleased to perceive no light flickers in his path. Maybe his control was getting better. Once he was outside the lab door, he paused before entering. Day by day, week by week, things had gotten progressively better between him and Liz. It had been four weeks since Isobel had entered the pod and these days when Liz looked at him it wasn't with suspicion or anger, no these days it seemed she mostly felt a sort of awkward sympathy towards him. Which was a step up, but not exactly ideal. He knew he didn't deserve ideal, he also knew they didn't deserve the amount of work she was putting in to cure Isobel. What she was doing, how hard she was working to help people who had hurt her... it was just another thing about Liz Ortecho that awed him.

However, to be fair, pretty much everything about Liz Ortecho awed him.

When Max finally did push open the door of the lab, neither Michael nor Liz stirred from their work, each was too engrossed in their respective tasks. He cleared his throat.

The sound startled Liz, and she looked up quickly, searching for the source. When her eyes found Max, she felt a familiar sensation. If she'd been asked to explain the sensation, she'd have said it was if her heart dropped into her stomach and then did a full somersault before swooping back into place. It was something that occurred most times when she saw him and it was disconcerting to say the least. Especially because of the cage she had proudly built around said heart. The walls of that cage were supposed to protect against this type of thing from happening.

Since he'd come back to town, the 'swoop' had been accompanied by a variety of emotions, affection, lust, terror, anger, suspicion, regret, empathy and sympathy to name a few. She'd felt more, more emotions, more of everything, since returning to Roswell than she probably had for the entirety of the last ten years combined. Against her will, the walls had slowly started to come down; it was a lot.

Their gazes locked for a moment. These days there was such a sadness to his eyes and seeing it there now, she felt a tightening in her gut, as if something had ratcheted up the pressure on her one more notch. She had to find a cure, and soon.

Finally, Michael interrupted the silence. "Max, what're you doing here?"

"Uh..." What was he doing here? Looking at Liz sometimes had the effect of making him lose his train of thought. He shook his head as if trying to jog himself back into reality. Food. Right, that's why he was there. He raised up his arm and revealed two take-out bags. "Dinner. I stopped by the Crashdown, I thought you two could use some sustenance."

"Yes," Michael said gratefully, and then held up his hand. One of the bags flew directly from Max's hand into his own.

Just then, the door opened again and Kyle strode into the lab as the bag hit Michael's hand. He surveyed the group and said with forced joviality, "It's a party in here."

Michael rolled his eyes as he came over to stand next to Max as if lining up against the other man. He replied sardonically, "It was a party, then you showed up."

Kyle looked a little taken aback at the open animosity. Over the last month when he'd interacted with Max, they'd been cordial. Max was grateful for his help, Michael not so much and Kyle could not figure out why. His best guess was that Michael had aligned himself with Max over the so-called love triangle that involved Max, Liz and himself. However, since it had been well over a month since he'd had anything to do with Liz romantically and since Max didn't appear to be holding a grudge, that didn't quite seem to explain it.

"Good evening to you, too, Guerin."

Michael ignored him and looked to Max. "I need to go collect another sample. You wanna give me a ride and..." he gestured with the bag of food, "I'll eat on the way?"

"Sure," Max said, carefully keeping any disappointment he felt out of his voice. It's not that he'd planned to stay long, but he would have liked to, at least, have a chance to talk to Liz, even if just for a minute. Instead, he caught Liz's eye once more and held up the take-out bag to indicate it was hers, before resting it on a nearby desk.

Liz watched him turn to leave, feeling oddly bereft. She hadn't seen much of him since they'd started working in earnest on a cure for Isobel. He'd stop by occasionally to bring pizza or burritos or check on their progress, but he never stayed more than a few minutes. Despite the number of times she'd told herself that distance from him was best, and how disconcerting she found the heart 'swoop' when she did see him, she found herself wishing he would stay. When he was almost out the door she called, "Bye Max. Thanks for dinner."

Max looked back with a half-smile and waved before the door whooshed close behind him.

"Did I interrupt something?" Kyle asked as he came over to Liz's workspace.

Liz shook her head in answer, looked down at her notebook where she'd been keeping records and then slammed down her safety goggles. "Maldita sea!" she muttered angrily.

Startled, Kyle asked, "What's wrong?"

Liz let out a long and frustrated sigh. "Another failure, I'm never going to get this."

Kyle studied her a second and then moved so he was standing right next to her. "You know, Liz, you don't have to do this. You're killing yourself trying to find a cure for-" Kyle stopped himself, he'd been about to say 'our sister,' he mentally course-corrected and continued, "your sister's murderer. It's not worth you making yourself crazy or running yourself into the ground."

Once again, she shook her head dismissively, but didn't meet his eye as she said, "I'm not."

"You are," Kyle insisted. "You do your regular lab work during the day and then you stay all night working for the aliens."

"I'm not working for them." Liz replied a bit defensively. She hopped off her stool, walked over to the desk and picked up the take-out bag Max had left. It was the least he could do, but the gesture still warmed her heart. She reached in to the familiar bag, pulled out a salad and smiled. From the tag, she could tell it was a Solar System Shrimp Salad, special ordered with edamame instead of croutons, and Intergalactic Vinaigrette instead of the Mars Rover Honey Mustard that usually came with it.

She wondered if Max knew her exact order from the one other time he'd gotten take out from the Crashdown for them, or if he'd relied on her father's expertise. Then she remembered her dad was off tonight. It was all Max.

As Liz prepared to eat, Kyle looked around the lab appraisingly. "Seriously, you're eating dinner at 8pm at work. You should go home and get some rest. You can come back tomorrow."

Liz speared a shrimp with her fork and then looked at him. "You don't understand."

Kyle frowned with resignation and then slumped down in a chair a few feet away from her. "I think I do. It's Evans."

xXx

"You know," said Max as he climbed into the driver's side of his jeep, "You should be a little nicer to Kyle. He's one of two humans who know our secret and he's helping with Isobel."

"I hate that guy," Michael muttered as he settled himself in the passenger seat.

Max glanced over him as he pulled out of the parking spot and then realization dawned. "A-ha!" Kyle had generally been a bully in high school, but Max suddenly remembered who his favorite target had been.

Before Max could elaborate on that revelation, Michael hurriedly said, "Despite him knowing we're not human, I don't know why you're so friendly towards him; he'd like nothing better than to marry Liz and take her off to some suburban track house and have 2.5 kids and a dog."

Max grimaced with revulsion, he couldn't help but picture it and it sent a frisson of anger through him. The overhead light blinked on and off, and then sparks flew from it before it extinguished.

"So I take it you don't like that idea." Michael emphasized the word 'don't' with a rough laugh.

The other man swallowed the very large lump that had taken up residence in his throat, when he spoke his voice took on an even more gravely quality than usual. "It's none of my business. I want Liz to be happy, and I know it's not going to be with me."

Michael shook his head but smiled. "Max Evans, always the martyr."

"I'm not being a martyr," Max shot back roughly.

"What would you call it then?"

Max was silent for several long moments before he let out a long sigh and said, "Respecting her wishes. She told me we weren't meant to be together."

"Really?" Michael asked with genuine surprise. Of the two of them, currently he was the one spending a lot more time with Liz and that admission surprised him. Not that Michael and Liz had bared their souls to one another, they hadn't, but whenever Max came around or was mentioned in conversation it seemed to him that something 'sparked' in her. Not the way Max literally sparked over her, but something in her eyes and general demeanor. He had sort of assumed that they would find their way to one another once this crisis with Isobel was over. Just like Michael hoped that he would find his way back to a certain someone, if he only found the right opportunity.

Max kept his eyes on the road, but nodded with resignation. "She told me the day we put Isobel in the pod. Those exact words, 'you and I weren't meant to be together.'" Max recited the words that had played in his mind a hundred times over the last month, each one a gut punch. He shook his head as if to clear it before adding, "Not that I blame her. In her shoes, I don't think I could get over what we did."

Michael let that sink in and the two rode in silence as Michael ate his burger. Maybe it was true; maybe they weren't meant to be together, and maybe it was bigger than Max and Liz. Maybe humans and aliens just didn't mix. Maybe none of them was meant to be with a human. That thought left him with a pit in his stomach and he was unable to eat the last bit of burger. He balled up the greasy paper and shoved it back in the bag.

However, all things considered, he had to admit that Liz had taken the news about aliens very well. Kyle too. They knew the secret, and were still helping to cure Isobel. Plus they hadn't turned them in to any secret government alien-hunting organizations. Yet. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if certain humans found out about them, if a certain human found out about him. If Liz could work so hard to save one of them, after what they'd done, then... Michael's train of thought stopped cold and it dawned on him: Max didn't know.

There was something very important that Max didn't understand at all.

He shifted in his seat to face him, "You know why she's working so hard to cure Isobel, don't you?"

"What?" Max's mind had clearly wandered in the few minutes of silence. Then he seemed to remember the thread of the conversation. "Oh, well, that's because she's a good person, infinitely better than any of us." His voice held quiet conviction.

"Well, I won't argue with you there." Michael acknowledged the truth of the statement. "You're right, Liz Ortecho is a good person, but that's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?"

Michael blew out a breath in disbelief; Max could be so smart, but so thick at the same time. "She's doing it for you."

Max felt his heart lift at the words. He glanced over at Michael who was watching him. Michael nodded at him with a knowing expression, as if to reinforce what he'd just said. Then reality settled in. "No," Max replied decisively before continuing, "That's a nice thought, but Liz is decent. She would help find a cure no matter what."

Michael tipped his head to the side as if acknowledging the truth of that, but Max didn't see it because his eyes were on the road. "Probably, but she wouldn't be working late every night, last week she practically slept in the lab in order to keep her eye on one of the trials. That, Max, she's doing for you."

Max shook his head. It's not that he didn't want to believe it, he did, but it just didn't line-up with what he knew. What he knew was that he'd been involved in the thing that had hurt Liz most. He couldn't forgive himself; there was no way he could expect her to forgive him.

Undeterred by Max's skepticism, Michael continued, "When Isobel injected herself with the poison, Liz was overwhelmed, she was feeling guilty, she couldn't pull it together and figure out what to do, do you know what she needed?"

Max's eyes didn't leave the road, he also didn't breathe, he just gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

"She needed motivation, she needed to stop thinking about finding a cure for her sister's murderer, and she needed to start thinking about finding a cure for YOUR sister. Bringing you in to the equation is what allowed her to focus and start work on a solution and now that is where her single-minded dedication and determination is coming from. You. She cares about you."

Max glanced over at him, as if he wanted to check his sincerity.

"It's true, Max," Michael reassured. "When we're working and we hit a road block, you're the reason she doesn't give up and finds a way around it. When we hit a dead end, you're the reason she finds another path and when we discover the well is dry, you're the reason she digs a new well and keeps going."

Max was stunned. He really had been chalking up her help entirely to her character, plus a little guilt and a lot of scientific curiosity. The fact that he might also be a factor floored him. "Really?" his voice held equal parts skepticism and wonder.

Michael just laughed. "Open your eyes, Max. If you were a little more observant you'll see the truth of what I'm saying."

Max let that sit for a beat; Liz cared about him. Even if it wasn't enough and she never fully forgave him, it was something. He allowed himself to feel a moment of lightness, he'd experienced so few since Isobel had gone into the pod... then he glanced over at Michael and smirked. "How about this for observant, I know you don't like Kyle because he was an ass to Alex Manes in high school."

"How did..." Michael's voice trailed off.

Max answered with a teasing tone to his voice, "I was the one standing next to you on prom night, remember?"

Michael was silent for a minute as he let that sink in. "Yeah," Michael's mouth finally curved into a half-smile and then he turned to, lightly, punch his alien brother on the arm. It was nice to be back on good terms with Max, more than nice, he'd missed him. "You were."

xXx

After Kyle dropped Max's name, Liz didn't say anything, but she didn't have to, the truth of what he said was written clear across her face. Liz transferred her attention back to her salad and took a bite.

"Soooo..." Kyle studied her intently. "You're just completely over him lying to you and covering up Rosa's murder for ten years?"

"I didn't say I was over it," Liz said defiantly.

"Why are you killing yourself then? Look, I'm not saying you should give up or stop searching for a cure, but you don't need to spend every waking minute on it."

"You don't understand," she repeated and then put down her fork and met his gaze. "I can't... I can't live with him in this kind of pain. I have to fix it."

"His pain?" Kyle said incredulously.

"Kyle..."

"No seriously, Liz. You're worried about his pain? After what he did to you, what he did to Rosa?"

Liz looked to the ceiling and blinked hard several times, trying to stem the heat she felt building behind her eyes. She took a deep breath before transferring her focus back to her dinner.

"How can you even think of forgiving him?" Kyle asked. However, as he watched the emotions play across her face realization slowly dawned. "Good god, Liz, you're in love with him, aren't you?"

His words hit her like bullets, and Liz felt an overwhelming urge to run. To jump out of her chair without a word and take off down the hall; away from this room, away from Kyle's questions, away from truth. She did not want to have this conversation. However, she didn't run, instead she transferred her gaze back to her salad, the salad Max had brought for her and found a chunk of tomato with her fork.

She managed to say, "That's ridiculous," before taking a bite of salad. Kyle couldn't see the 'swoop' her heart did, out of its cage, every time she saw Max, could he?

"It's not, though, is it?"

"I barely know him," Liz lied, cutting him off before he could say more. The truth was that she did know Max, faults and all, but she feared that he didn't really know her. She was a hot mess, an imposter going through life with a professional façade, an air of togetherness that she didn't feel. The façade designed so that no one could see through it, not her father, not her boss, not Kyle or Alex or Maria, and certainly not the man who... well, the man in question. The man in question had her on a pedestal, it was one of the many reasons it would never work between them, no matter how they thought they felt about one another.

Kyle watched the play of emotions cross her face and realized it was worse than he'd thought. "Listen, it's obvious you're... conflicted, but his pain is not your problem. I get that he's cut up about his sister but-"

"It is my problem," Liz replied softly. "I caused it. Max and Isobel share a psychic bond, apparently have their whole lives, now it's gone, sort of. I made the thing that did that and now Max is... alone, really alone for the first time and I can't stand it. I can't stand that I'm the one who did that to him."

Liz shivered, despite her sweater and lab coat. She felt exposed at the admissions she'd made. She hadn't even admitted to herself why she was working so hard. It's as if she'd had a tacit agreement with her psyche not to think too deeply about it, but now, thanks to Kyle, all of it was coming out.

Kyle let a few moments of silence pass, and when he finally spoke, his voice held both kindness and the very real concern he felt over Liz becoming so obviously attached to an... alien. "Look, Liz, I don't want to upset you, but I also don't want you to get hurt. It's... it's just important to remember that we know so little about them."

"I know." Liz said the heat returning to her voice as she dropped her fork and finally met Kyle's gaze. "You think I don't know that?" Now she stood, abandoning her salad, and started pacing around the room. "You think I don't know that it's crazy... that this whole thing is crazy? I know it's crazy, Kyle." She shoved one hand into her hair and then grabbed a fistful of it in frustration. "I'm here at ground zero of this whole situation, using my job as a scientist and my access to a lab to research alien antidotes. Its nuts. And, yes, it's a little overwhelming to find out that a boy I grew up with, that I've known for 20 years, someone I almost ran away with after high school is an alien. And it's even more overwhelming to find out that his sister murdered-"

Kyle had been listening, but he couldn't stop himself from interrupting. He asked incredulously, "Wait... you almost ran away with him after high school?"

Liz who was breathless after her rant, shot him an awkward look that was tinged with pity, but she didn't pull punches. "Yes. I feel like... I forgot that. Or it was fuzzy for years, but since I got back to town it's been slowly coming back to me and now the memory is clear as day. I remember how I felt, how happy I was. We made plans; he was going to go on the road trip with me. We were going to kiss at the ocean... and the Grand Canyon." Her voice was wistful as she said it.

Kyle grunted at the idea of his high school girlfriend taking off with the likes of Max Evans only weeks after they broke up. However, he was an adult now, time had passed, so he put his ego away and mustered as much objectivity as he could. "That's all well and good, I guess, but it doesn't change what they did, what he did."

"I know." Liz said, shaking her head. "You don't think I know that? You don't think I'm conflicted about this? All of this?" She gestured to the lab at large and then sat back down as if deflated. "But if I've learned anything the last few weeks, studying his biology, studying them, I know exactly what it would mean for certain people I've run across in the scientific community to get their hands on what we're doing. Max is not wrong when he tells me they are all alone here. They are alone. If people knew they existed, their lives would be over. When it all happened they were teenagers, they were terrified; they had no one who could help. Isobel has no memory of it... and I do truly believe Max had no idea what the consequences of his actions that night would be for me and my family."

Kyle grimaced. "So, it's okay that he lied to you?"

"No," Liz said sharply as she felt the stab of pain in her gut when she remembered the betrayal she'd felt when he'd done his best to throw sand in her eyes. "That's actually harder to forgive. I wanted to trust him, with everything I had I wanted to trust him, and it turns out I was right not to, he was lying."

"But you're still doing this."

Liz shrugged helpless and searched for an answer. Why was she doing this? "You might find it hard to believe, and maybe I'm a fool, but deep down I believe he's..." What? What did Liz believe about Max Evans? Then it all suddenly made sense, why she was doing this, who he was as a person, deep-down. "I believe he's good."

The revelation shook her, but in her gut, she knew it was true. Max Evans was good, maybe his actions hadn't always been, when he'd acted out of terror and desperation, but just as she knew in her bones she was safe with him, she knew at his core, he was good. She could feel it.

She stood again, time to get back to work. "And he's in pain so I need to get back to work. Michael will be back soon with the sample and I need to prep for it."

Kyle waited a beat, and then when it became clear the conversation was over he stood and said, "Well then I'll leave you to it."

At that, Liz looked up and then called, "Wait, Kyle." He paused in the doorway and looked back to her. At almost any point in the last decade, having such an emotionally open conversation would have exhausted Liz, if she'd even stuck around for it, but now she felt better. Unburdened, focused and most surprising she felt clearer on her complicated feelings for Max and the entire situation. "Thanks, uh, I think that helped."

He nodded once in acknowledgement and then left the room as Liz, more determined than ever, set about finding a cure for Isobel, and a way to stop Max's pain.

The End.


End file.
